


confusion and realization

by eggrater



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Confession, First Kiss, M/M, Shoma caught red handed LMAO, i need to get this out of my system ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 16:54:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10971423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eggrater/pseuds/eggrater
Summary: Shoma found a notebook with Y.H. carved on the cover, and when he decided to read it, he's blown away with what he found inside.





	confusion and realization

**Author's Note:**

> Back at it again with your number one yuzusho stan. 
> 
> I got this idea and decided I should write this, okay. I feel like I haven't written about these two adorable dorks for hundreds of years. Also Ella has been torturing me with some non yuzusho stuff so I just need to. 
> 
> Enjoy!!

Shoma Uno is confused.

I mean, he always is. He’s confused 80% of the time, but right now, he’s really confused. World Team Trophy is held in Japan by the JSF who’s known as one of the most generous skating federation in the world. Shoma loves skating in Japan. The audience is unbeatable, the ice is good, the hotels are good, the medals are beautiful, the event organizing is great, and all the other reasons why competitions in Japan are great.

But not today.

For some unknown reasons, the JSF didn’t give the skaters single rooms. Not even for Yuzuru which is their golden kid. And they jumbled Shoma and Yuzuru into one big room. This isn’t something the JSF would do to their top skaters.

But they did. So here Shoma is, sitting on his bed, waiting for Yuzuru to finish his bath. Their gold medals glinting under the moonlight at the table near the window. Shoma stood up and approached the table, and he found a black notebook with Y.H. carved on the cover. Of course, typical Yuzuru, everything has his name carved on it.

Shoma reached for the notebook—despite knowing he shouldn’t—out of curiosity. He opened the notebook and at the first page, there’s a neat handwriting in alphabets, they’re in English, but Shoma knows enough English to understand.

**_Property of Yuzuru Hanyu. If lost, please kindly return it to him. March 30 th 2017\. _ **

Yuzuru’s familiar signature is written underneath the date. Shoma’s eyebrows crunched, that’s the date of the men’s short program in Helsinki. So this notebook is new? Shoma raised his shoulders before flipping the pages and his jaw dropped.

Shoma knew this is wrong. He shouldn’t be reading this, this could be Yuzuru’s diary and it’s his privacy. But then again, his curiosity got the better of him, and here he is.

The first five pages are full of Yuzuru’s analysis of his short program. Sketches and scribbles in Japanese, His protocol is glued to one of the pages, full of red marks and black ink. Shoma knew how stressed and angry Yuzuru was after his short program in Helsinki, but he never knew his senior would go this far. Maybe this is why Brian and Tracy both kept careful eyes on Yuzuru after the short program.

After those analysis which blew Shoma’s mind away, the next page is a normal page, full of neat handwriting in kanji.

**_March 30 th 2017\. _ **

**_I am still frustrated over my short program. The quadruple salchow was horrible and it got negative 4 GOE. I think I still haven’t practiced enough for it. I have to increase the amount of quadruple salchow practice later. But on top of all, I am disappointed in myself. I was doing so well in practice this morning, yet when I saw the crowd, the pressure was on again._ **

**_I am scared. This will decide the spots Japan will get for the Olympics, and I can’t let the whole team, the whole country down because of me. They expect great things, and I let them down. So I have to pay for this in the free skate._ **

**_The crowd was so supportive, but I knew everyone is disappointed on me. 5 th after short program, and I am mad that I disappointed everyone. It was hard to smile to the press but I did, because it would be impolite not to do so. But of course, this didn’t change the fact that he skated so well today, and how proud I am of him. _ **

_Kare?_ Shoma’s eyebrows furrowed again. Who?

**_I might be a failure tonight, but he wasn’t. I let Japan and the people who supported me down. I let my fans down. But he didn’t. He skated his heart out, and he managed to capture the audience’s heart. It’s a shame I didn’t watch his performance live, but I just did earlier, and in all honestly, I am really surprised at how much he improved since last year’s worlds._ **

**_He finished 7 th last year and right now, he’s 2nd after short program. I feel terrible right now, but the thought that there’s hope for Japan to be in podium, that there’s a chance for seeing him smiling with a World medal around his neck, makes me feel a lot better. _ **

**_I will definitely take my revenge in free skate. I can and I will._ **

Shoma’s heart is suddenly racing. He’s not doing any cardio right now but it’s beating so fucking hard. Yuzuru … was talking about him. He talked about how Shoma made him feel better. His cheeks warmed up, and he flipped to the next pages.

Yuzuru did another analysis after his Hope and Legacy run through in practice, and another analysis for his clean, perfect, beautiful free skate. At least those sketches are less painful to see. And then there’s another piece of his diary.

**_April 1 st 2017_ **

**_I did it._ **

**_I reclaimed the title. Honestly speaking, I am exhausted. After all those interviews, I am exhausted. But I can’t let this day end yet. I need to write this down. I’ve been trying to reclaim the crown from Javi since last year, but thank you foot injury for stopping me from doing that last year. But not tonight. Nothing could stop me tonight._ **

**_His triple lutz, maybe, but it didn’t._ **

Shoma snorted.

**_But it feels nice to be back. It feels nice to see the smiles on my fans’ faces. It feels nice to see the smile on Brian and Tracy’s faces. But you know what makes this day even much better?_ **

**_He was on the podium with me._ **

**_Me and him, on the podium, as the world gold and silver medalist. We managed to bring back 3 spots for men division in Japan. It was really calming, to see his face lighting up after he saw his score. The press conference medal ceremony was good with him beside me. The press conference was great with him beside me. Everything is great when he’s around._ **

**_I really don’t know how I’m feeling right now. I’m happy I won, I’m happy I didn’t let anyone down today. But I’m happier that he finally got his first worlds medal. I’m happy he was there with me on the podium. I’m happy when he said I’m his motivation in skating. I’m happy that he was with me._ **

**_This is everything I never knew I ever wanted, yet right now, I would give up this gold medal around my neck just for him._ **

The piece of writing ended at that. Shoma’s stunned. He’s standing there, trying to process all the information he just received from Yuzuru’s diary. Fuck, he shouldn’t have opened the diary, because now here he is, sitting frozen and practically dead.

Shoma reminisced the times he has spent with Yuzuru. They’ve known each other since Novice days, and Shoma has been trying to catch up with Yuzuru since forever. And now they’re just a few feet away. He’s now the second best in the world, he’s so close with Yuzuru. So close. Shoma has always thought it was just the respect he had for Yuzuru.

But then he remembered the programs he skated just for Yuzuru. He remembered Four Continents, where he poured all his feelings into This Town because he wanted to cheer Yuzuru up after he ended second. He remembered how relief washed over him when he realized Yuzuru won the World Championship, because he couldn’t stand watching Yuzuru being so hard on himself.

He flipped through the pages with his shaky hands, and he didn’t read all of them, but he caught some lines that made his heart raced even faster.

**_‘He deserves all the love the world could offer.’_ **

**_‘Hey, he called me King. And I stupidly turned the topic into Plushenko because I would lose my sanity if I didn’t.’_ **

**_‘He’s art work.’_ **

**_‘I’m fucking scared because I tend to lose myself in the sea, and he’s my sea. But I’m also the most brave when he’s around. I’m brave because of him.’_ **

“Shoma?”

Fuck.

Shoma was so deep into reading Yuzuru’s diary to the point he didn’t realize the older skater has finished his bath and is now proceeding to put on his suit. Shoma put the notebook down, trying to be as subtle as possible as his back faced Yuzuru.

“Oh, Yuzu-kun, um, you finished?”

“Yeah. What were you doing?”

“I, um, was admiring our medals?”

Yuzuru stared at him before the look of horror is in portrayed in his beautiful eyes. “Shoma, you … you didn’t read my … notebook, did you?”

“I—“

“You did.” Yuzuru is staring right into Shoma’s eyes, his hand has stopped putting on his tie.

Fuck. No turning back. Yuzuru knows and now he will hate Shoma forever because Shoma is an impolite kouhai who disrespectfully read his senior’s diary. Fuck. And now Shoma could do nothing but confess and apologize and never talk or bother Yuzuru’s life again—

“I—yes. I’m so sorry, Yuzu-kun. I—I got curious.” He choked out.

Yuzuru sighed. “So, you know.”

“I do.”

“It’s okay if you hate me.”

“No! Oh my god, why would I?” Shoma jumped in horror, confused. “Of course I don’t, Yuzu-kun. I am honored you … you feel that way. I mean, I … I feel the same so, you know. Why would I hate you because of this?”

“You what?”

“I—“

“Shoma, oh my God.” Yuzuru face-palmed. “No, but I am serious. This is actual love, as in, romantic love, okay? Not as friends. Are you sure?”

“Yuzu-kun. I wouldn’t joke at times like this.”

“But—“

The next thing Shoma knew is he kissed Yuzuru. Fuck. He just interrupted the world champion’s sentence by _kissing him_. The whole figure skating world is going to hate him after this. Shoma felt Yuzuru’s lips slowly kissing him back, and how he would forever remember this feeling. The feeling of Yuzuru’s lips against his, Yuzuru’s arm on his waist, his hand against Yuzuru’s neck. And he would give up anything for this to last forever.

But it didn’t. Shoma broke the kiss.

“Shoma?”

“Yuzu-kun.” Shoma looked into Yuzuru’s eyes. “I can’t wait for each new day with you, exploring the new patterns of waves.”

Yuzuru smiled.

Shoma smiled.

Maybe when they’re together, neither of them are scared of drowning, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> hit me up on twitter and scream with me: @emergency3A <3


End file.
